I always have had a tough time explaining to strangers what
I do. An obscure office in the basement of an old plaza, what kind of a clinic
do I run? Well! It’s unofficial, illegal but, a high in demand business. Yes! I
do soul exchanges. Come to me; pay my fee and the next day you could wake up as
Johnny Depp or AR Rahman. You could wake us as Sahir Lodhi as well if your
cheque bounced. Where does the soul of the other person go? Obviously to your
body. He would go nuts, yell about it but nobody would believe him.
Well I do have my ethical bindings. I do not succumb to the
wishes of household ladies who want to transfer into the bodies of their unfair
ill-treating husbands. That will be an insult to womanhood. However, I do grace
the desires of men who want to be transferred to the bodies of women. That’s
why I have a large clientele in the fashion industry.
Friday is for claims. Some of my clients who are not happy
with their new bodies come for a reverse process. My first client today was a
boy named Adnan. Adnan transferred to the body of Zahid, his classmate. Zahid
was receiving fair bit of attention from Adnan’s crush thereby Adnan couldn’t
bare it anymore and a week ago, he got his soul transferred. But today, he told
me that it was only after being transferred he came to know this thing about
Zahid. I was expecting to hear something that was more relevant for a medical
doctor but just then he told me “Zahid belongs to a different religious sect”,
he went on to say that “all my life I’ve termed them infidels but for the past
7 days, I can’t find a reason for it, take me out of this misery”.
Next in was Shahid Afridi. Not the real one but a 16 year
old Lala fan who had sneaked into his body with my help some time ago. May be
that can explain his recent form in the world cup. After bringing a tragic end
to his career, he wanted to go back to his body of 16 year old lala fan. I
turned him away because I thought lala would do justice to the body of that 16
year old boy and would make it to team as a different and much younger person.
My third client was a dog. Not just any dog it was the famous method actor from
India, Nawazuddin Siddique., who was offered a five minute role in the movie
“thrown to dogs” so he wanted to experience how it felt to be a dog. Unfortunately,
the role was taken away in the meanwhile, after the dog in Nawazuddin’s real
body barked at the director and eventually bit him, which resulted in the
director’s death. I sorrowfully transferred him back along with refund.
Nawaz Uddin discussing how he felt being a dog
The last client that came for claim was the one that vexed
me. I didn’t remember performing his exchange. But his assertion was
frightening. He claimed he was me. He yelled “I am you, I transferred my soul
from my body, and the body of the genius who had unlocked the secret of soul
transfer and made this machine that is now in your hands”
I was not going to believe his mumbo jumbo yet I asked hum
“OK, who did you exchange it with”.
Simply I wanted to ask him, who am I and he replied
“With an assistant of mine who had some serious issues with
his memory”.
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